Confidence Chronicles: Thriving in a Family of Over-Achievers

One of the most challenging emotions arises when we find ourselves constantly compared to overachieving family members, particularly when we’re struggling with our own sense of self-worth.

While breaking free from this seemingly insurmountable matrix may appear daunting, there exist strategic approaches to navigate life with efficiency:-

1. GIVE A GOOD FIGHT TO SELF-DOUBT & NEGATIVE THOUGHTS: To embark on a powerful journey, silence the echoes of “you are not good enough” coming from external sources and within yourself. Recognise that each individual follows a unique path and timeline, paving the way for personal growth and resilience.
2. CELEBRATE YOUR STRENGTH EVERYDAY: Every individual possesses a unique blend of strengths and imperfections. You must have tons of good things lying underneath your negative feelings trying to surface.It might be the way you carry yourself or it might be your kindness, sensitivity, your ability to make people confide in you or perhaps your calibre to withstand the constant comparison around you.
3. DON’T PLACE ANYONE ON A PEDESTAL : When you give excessive value to others and seek validation from them, you instantly feel nervous around them. It’s crucial to remember that everyone, despite appearances, is not exempt from imperfections; they too have their flaws. Instead of placing them on a pedestal, envision them as individuals further along in their journey, not above you, but ahead of you. This perspective can alleviate the pressure and allow for more genuine connections.

4. HARNESS THE POWER OF CALM

Let me tell you one thing- CALM is underrated. There’s a magnetic allure in those who can fortify themselves against external chaos, people who are well composed. Employ this simple Art of Calmness to preserve your inner peace and project the image of a beautifully confident person.

5. CULTIVATE CLARITY ABOUT YOUR #PRIMARY: Within my circle, many friends stand out as over-achievers. While I praise their accomplishments, I’ve never allowed myself to feel inadequate. The reason lies in my unwavering prioritisation of RESPECT & HAPPINESS over monetary gains. I am perfectly content with earning 30–40k per month as long as I am with my favourite people and my job isn’t killing my soul. Identify your primary focus. While others may strive for over achievement, recognise what brings you satisfaction. If your sources of fulfilment diverge from societal expectations, proudly acknowledge and embrace them.

Moving on, I believe, it is of utmost importance that we find our own identity without feeling constant need to conform to other’s expectations. During my formative years, I had no idea Who I am or what I am going to be. I was somewhat of an all-rounder, but I never excelled at anything except… giving advice! Years later, I am a Counsellor. Nevertheless, I still haven’t figured out myself completely. My journey continues, and that’s okay!

You wanna find your own identity- stop measuring yourself by your family’s scale. You gotta forge your own “scale”. Try everything. Explore beyond expectations and perhaps your identity will gracefully unveil itself to you!

Finally, as long as you’re not creating excuses to stay within your comfort zone, refrain from blaming yourself for progressing at your own pace. Families should never compare their children, as it is neither healthy nor fair. If this tendency becomes excessive, confront the issue and embark on your journey to success along your unique path, rather than treading in someone else’s footsteps.